Listen, Lady...

The Final Piece of the Puzzle

2008-06-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

I saw Trainspotting last night for the first time since the 1990's. I first saw it when I was 17 and was getting really serious about movies, so I've enjoyed tracking the careers of the main characters. But while we were watching last night I was like "Hey, who's the guy who plays Tommy? That's the only one of these guys I don't know anything about." Only I DID know that guy, and only recognized him about a half hour in. Dudes! It was Journeyman! He was also the lead guy on Rome. Whew. It's nice to know everyone landed on their feet.

SECRET MUSLIMS!

2008-06-14T00:53:00.000-07:00

If Obama were a secret Muslim, why would he keep a name that immediately raises the hackles of xenophobic Americans? You'd think the Secret Muslim Plot to Overthrow our Nation would be a tad more savvy than that.

I bring this up now because I've overheard people talking about how they really do think Obama's a secret Muslim. People are dumb as hell.

Damn it!

2008-06-11T09:33:00.001-07:00

Why won't Blogger work on The Atrox site?

Yeah

2008-01-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

Fucking SOLD.

An Open Letter

2008-01-04T17:39:00.001-08:00

Dear Any Man Who Uses His Foot to Flush a Public Toilet.

You're an asshole.

Sincerely,

Jeff Stone

Perla La Loca

2007-12-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'll be damned if Love and Rockets isn't just about as good as comics get. Can't believe it took me this long to read those books.

American Gladiators

2007-12-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

I was having dinner with Matt and Andrea last night, and Matt expressed some reservations about the new American Gladiators.

WRONG.

Seriously, it is friggin' American Gladiators! Will this new version have 'roid freaks beating the shit out of normal people with giant Q-tips? Will it still have Assault? The Eliminator? The Wall? It will? THEN IT WILL BE EFFING GREAT.

Maybe you've gathered that I loved American Gladiators as a kid. That show was pure gold. This is one revival about which I have no reservations.

Also still hot

2007-12-24T13:54:00.000-08:00

Lisa Loeb.

I miss my girlfriend.

Juno

2007-12-24T13:26:00.000-08:00

Boy, did I love Juno. But have you seen the freakin' TV ads? That show one of the LAST SCENES OF THE MOVIE and TOTALLY BLOW THE ENDING? The ads are all "Here's Michael Cera! He's totally my boyfriend!" But that's part of the emotional climax of the film! Auuuugh! Did Robert Zemeckis secretly direct this or something?

Further adventures in trash television

2007-12-24T13:24:00.000-08:00

Isn't it sad when "I Love the 90's" is like the classiest show you watch in a week?

Anyway, Dolores O'Riordan is still hot as hell.

Trash television

2007-12-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

How can anyone watch The Hills? Every girl on it is blonde and looks exactly the same. Seriously EVERY girl is blonde. It freaks me out.

Tila Tequila has a really weird face.

The Ventures Brothers, while not actually trash television, still isn't funny.

Adventures in flying

2007-12-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'll blog a little while I'm in KC. I mean, what the hell else am I gonna do? But don't get used to it.

My flight to KC involved a connection in Cincinnati. The astute among you will note that Cincinnati is farther east than KC. Such are the magic of internet flights. Anyway, my flight to Cincinnati was longer than my usual flights to KC (I usually connect in Salt Lake), and I wound up on a nice new giant plane with TV screens in the back of every seat and satellite TV and the like. I haven't had a movie on a flight in FOREVER, so I bought The Bourne Ultimatum. Sorry, striking writers! I haven't seen it since the theater! It was cool. Then I took a little tiny plane from Cincinnati to KC. A lesson in contrasts! My flight leaving LA left pretty late, so I had a tight connection in Cincinnati, but I made it just fine! Laurel and Lindsay did not have such good luck on their respective flights. Sorry, ladies.

On the flight to Cincinnati a woman broke out her laptop and started up a movie. That movie was the Clive Owen/Jennifer Aniston bomb Derailed. What the fuck? Who owns that movie?

Two observations

2007-09-27T16:09:00.000-07:00

Some people pay good money for All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder.

Some people pay good money to have a dude pee on them.

Superbad

2007-08-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

You know what I thought would get old but never did? "McLovin." Every time the cops called Fogel that, I chuckled a little.

Also, I love that the number 1 movie in the country can best be described as a love story between two high school boys.

You know what I don't miss?

2007-08-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

The billboards for Captivity that were inescapable six weeks ago.

I had never wanted a film to open more than that one, so that it could bomb and fade away, never to be though of again. In this case, the universe grated my wish.

Nerd alert

2007-07-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

So I guess they're doing a comic book follow-up to Angel season 5.

Boo to that idea, I say. Angel season 5 really summed up the basic themes of the series and ended with what is possibly my favorite final episode of any show, ever (I suppose one could get into a debate as to whether The End of Evangelion really counts). What more could be said that wouldn't just be repitition?

I mean, my displeasure is mostly born of fannish entitlement, since any continuation basically invalidates how I perceived the end of the series, but still, boo.

Can I mention how much I've been enjoying re-watching Evangelion? Frank, Leslie, and I have been showing Evangelion to a bunch of folks who haven't seen it (or at least the whole thing) before. It's bliss. Next week we wrap up the series proper and then the next week we watch End of Evangelion. I can't wait for that shit. I'm thinking some minds might be blown.

Mourn not for this blog

2007-07-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

Paul's doing a better job than I ever did.

I'm a mark for wrestling slang

2007-06-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

The other night I noted that using the term "fish vagina" in a sketch would result in a "cheap pop" and Paul immediately said, "Cheap pop? What, are you just inserting wrestling slang into your everyday speech now?"

I was really annoyed that someone caught on to my plan so quickly.

Metas, metas, everywhere

2007-06-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Hey, I did see some TV recently that wasn't wrestling!

It's nice to know that despite the high-profile (and higher budgeted) Heroes hogging the superpowers spotlight, there's still room in my heart for The 4400's low-rent charm. The show is so loveable, with its ideas that seem cooler on paper than in execution, somewhat sub-par acting, and people who are just a hair's breadth from being actually attractive. I missed you, The 4400! And now Bill Campbell's a regular! He's in the opening credits and everything! The world is gonna get ROCKETEERED!

The Draft Deux

2007-06-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

After yesterday's supplementary draft, here's the complete list of who's going where, thanks to Wrestling at Inside Pulse.

In a canny move, Raw added London and Kendrick to their roster, thus ensuring that I would continue to watch. I could resist when it was just Booker and Kennedy on there, but all those guys together?

I know you don't care, but the good news is that I don't care that you don't care.

RAW (adds 11, loses 10)

(RAW): King Booker & Queen Sharmell (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Bobbly Lashley (from ECW)
(RAW): Gene Snitsky (from ECW)
(RAW): Mr. Kennedy (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Brian Kendrick & Paul London (from SmackDown)
(RAW): The Sandman (from ECW)
(RAW): Khosrow Daivari (from SmackDown)
(RAW): William Regal (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Jillian Hall (from SmackDown)

SD (adds 11, loses 11)

(SD): The Great Khali & Runjin Singh (from RAW)
(SD): Torrie Wilson (from RAW)
(SD): Chris Masters (from RAW)
(SD): Ric Flair (from RAW)
(SD): Kenny Dykstra (from RAW)
(SD): Hardcore Holly (from ECW)
(SD): Brett Major & Brian Major (from ECW)
(SD): Victoria (from RAW)
(SD): Eugene Dinsmore (from RAW)

ECW (adds 5, loses 6)

(ECW): The Boogeyman (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Chris Benoit (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Viscera (from RAW)
(ECW): The Miz (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Johnny Nitro (from RAW)

The Draft

2007-06-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so the big WWE draft was last night. I'll sum it up quickly: Smackdown got cut off at the knees. Going into the draft, they had the best all-around roster, and Raw was really struggling (with Triple H, Shawn Michaels out due to injuries and Edge off to Smackdown, Raw really only had two main eventers left: Cena and Randy Orton). So Basically Raw cherry-picked Smackdown and ECW's top guys, then shifted its dead weight to Smackdown. Amusingly enough, that actually worked out great for ECW.

Raw got:
King Booker (nooo!)
Bobby Lashely (who was duly stripped of his ECW title)
Snitsky (now he and Lashley can fued and I won't have to watch it)
Mr. Kennedy (noooooooo!)

So to make up for their lack of top guys they brought in Booker and Lashley, and Mr. Kennedy for star power (since he could easily turn face when he comes back from injury). Also, Snitsky.

Smackdown got:
The Great Khali (argh)
Chris Masters (ARGH)
Torrie Wilson (why?)
Ric Flair (man boobs!)

Just bask in that list. You'll note that no top faces are there. So if Edge retains against Batista (yet again) at Vengeance, then who's he going to fight? If only there were a face on Smackdown who's been really impressive lately and has a good-to-go fued with Edge because he hates him in real life and has been on the cusp of the main event for years? Oh yeah. And if not Hardy, Rey Mysterio will be back later this summer. You better believe I'm excited for that shit. Then again, every single belt on Smackdown is currently held by a villain. So why bring in more heels?

ECW got:
Boogeyman (yay?)
Chris Benoit (hmm)

Unlike Leslie and Emory, I don't really have anything against Chris Benoit. He actually started out in ECW, and might fit right in. We'll see. Boogeyman will do his regular schtick. The interesting thing is what ECW lost. Now that Lashley and Snitsky aren't going to be forced down our throats week in and week out, that just means more CM Punk and Burke. Sold. Plus the title is vacated, so the ECW title will actually wind up being contested and defended on ECW! Imagine! (The past few months Lashley has mostly been defending it or chasing it on Raw.) So yeah, ECW could get interesting.

There's a secondary draft tomorrow on WWE.com, presumeably swapping around the guys you don't see on TV very much. If anything interesting happens, I'll let you know.

Oh, and after the draft was over last night, they blew up Vince McMahon.

NOT A JOKE.

The perils of being me

2007-06-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

I took a shower this morning and washed my hair. OR SO I THOUGHT. Now that my hair's dry it seems still pretty greasy and dirty. I think I may have forgotten to shampoo my hair after I got it wet. I am a mess.

PS The Atrox is today's featured comic on the webcomic site Drunk Duck. It's awfully strange. Also "Sad Leigh" is up on YouTube and "Laundry Day" is up at Funny or Die. I'd give you direct links but you're all adults and can handle such things yourselves.

CONNED!

2007-06-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

Team Atrox Unlimited's 2007 Mayday entry, "Sad Leigh to Late," is now up over at The Lair. Check it out if you haven't already, or see it again and relive the magic! This motherfucker's so cool that when sheep fall asleep, they count this movie. Or something!

FUN FACT: Partway through filming Nell admitted she was just playing her role as she imagined I would play it, which I think gives me at least a 30% claim on her Best Female Performance award. Also, it means that if I do any of her lines it makes Emory really uncomfortable, since he is deeply disquieted by the existence of a good-looking female me, performance or no.

Now TV is over

2007-06-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

All the shows have wrapped up (except The Sopranos, but I haven't seen the last two episodes of that, anyway), so let's take a look at them, shall we? Spoilers, probably.

Veronica Mars - Aw, I'll miss you Veronica Mars, even if this season was a bit bumpy. Fortunately the show recovered from its slump for the last two episodes, which featured Veronica taking down a bunch of rich jerks in the mighty Mars manner. But then she cost her Dad the election! A down note to end on, but appropriate.

Lost - This season's "most improved" award! Seriously, by the last third of this season I was actually EXCITED to watch new episodes of Lost! I know! Even that stupid van episode paid off! And I actually liked Charlie in the last few episodes! And stuff happened! Please keep it up, Lost! The ratings drop off was the best thing that ever happened to this show.

Heroes - A pretty anti-climactic ending. Honestly, while Lost has been known for its pokey pacing, Heroes suffers from all-too-rapid wrap-ups. So did Linderman follow Nikki and D.L.'s life because he knew they would create a machine-controlling baby? Or something? Also, the details of why Peter blew up and why he couldn't fly away remain sketchy at best. Still, I admire a show that kills so many of its characters. Plus the cliffhanger for next season was ace.

The Office - Bye, Rashida Jones! I will miss you. Overall, this season wasn't as stellar as the last, but it's still TV's best sitcom.

Drive - In an attempt to get me to not watch television this summer, Fox canceled Drive. Which show will Fillion kill next?

Mayday!

2007-06-04T12:53:00.001-07:00

So yeah, we got Best in Show at Mayday. It was a pretty nice feeling. Nell won Best Female Performance too, so good on her. She was a real trooper for, y'know, flying out to LA to visit and be in our movie. Thanks again to the Unlimited gang.

Decent crop of movies this year. Team Meat's entry was simple and funny. Yaiza is a champ. Also, John wins a thousand points for the line "Don't get ice!" Team Lower Gatsby's was shown out of competition, and featured a banana riding a dinosaur who then shot lasers out of its eyes, so A+ for those guys. Team Happy had sock puppets, and we all know what a sucker I am for those. I also dug the Guitar Hero documenatry and Six Finger Fist's kung-fu parody. But if I never see a serial killer movie again at Mayday, it'll be too soon. I guess they can't all be winners. Still, the ones I liked outweighed the duds.

Will my star ever stop rising?

2007-06-04T12:52:00.000-07:00

IMDB entry for me that I didn't know existed until last week. My STARmeter is going NUTS.

Oh, and by the way...

2007-06-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

SEPTEMBER, BABY! WOOOOO!

Okay, that's all.

My life

2007-06-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

I've been too lazy to write about my life lately, but now Laurel does it so I don't have to! I mean, I was there for a lot of that stuff, is what I'm saying.

I just want to reiterate that I had the highest accuracy at laser tag. I kill with finesse.

In which my iPod mocks me

2007-05-29T21:48:00.001-07:00

So walking home from Laurel and Frank's tonight my iPod decided to whip out some songs all in a row that, should someone off the street ask me what I was listening to, would make me reluctant to tell them.

"Click, Click Boom" by Saliva - Has Saliva written any songs that don't have "Boom!" in the chorus? To my knowledge, no.

"Car Song" by PaRappa the Rapper - I call it the Car Song because it is about PaRappa learning to drive. This song is sheer delight from start to finish. It got a lot of play in my circle of friends in college during my senior year. I couldn't go a day without hearing Charlotte and Lindy whipping out "I. Forgot. To Close. The Door." "YOU. Forgot. To close. The door."

"Rolling" by Limp Bizkit - No excuse for this one, really, save for the fact that every time I hear this song, I think of Emory's special dance to it, and I smile.

Then the iPod played "Creep" by Radiohead and I got all huffy and said "Whoa, iPod. I thought we were having a Guilty Pleasure mix tonight." So I skipped to the next song and it was "Johnny, Are You Queer?" by Josie Cotton. Whew! Thanks, for keeping it up, iPod!

In other music news, "My Name is Jonas" will be in Guitar Hero III, which means I will never stop playing it. Also, "Barracuda."

Memory Lane

2007-05-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

It was Corinne's birthday last night, and several Oxy kids I hadn't seen in awhile were there, like Rachel and Nelson. Back at school I made those kids Sifl and Olly converts and this was one of our favorite episodes:

"I'm picking up all the hitchhikers, and I'm taking them all to JAIL!"

Every time "Just What I Needed" comes on the radio, we sing the "Wee-oo wee-oos."

Mayday!

2007-05-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so Mayday's come and gone yet again. We got the movie in on time (not as early as last time, but still), and it was under the run-time limit by a whopping two seconds, which was fortunate, since Emory and I didn't really take that into account while writing the script. We just hoped for the best.

As is Mayday tradition, there was the period where we all thought what we were doing wasn't funny in the slightest, but then Paul edited the hell out of it and we thought it was good again, although had the typical worry that we will be the only ones to find it funny, ever. I'm not TOO worried, though. I figure if people liked "Hope, De-Koied," then this one shouldn't pose any problems.

Anyway, I slept a good portion of the afternoon (on the floor, since Paul stole my bed), and went to bed early and I'm still kind of out of it. So hopefully the sleep schedule will straighten itself out tonight.

Big thanks to Team Atrox Unlimited: Ethan, Lindsay, Danny, and especially Kim and Nell, who had to do the lion's share of the acting. You were all totally awesome and are welcome on our Mayday crew any time.

Okay, time to try and actually do some work.

SIFL AND OLLY

2007-05-10T00:27:00.000-07:00

What better way to get over hump day? (This clip's got Chester, Olly's mom, the amnesia song, and Precious Roy, so it's really all you need in life.)

I tried to find Llama School, but to no avail.

True tales of my stupid subconscious

2007-05-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

I almost never remember my dreams, but I remembered one I had last night, so now you're gonna hear about it. BECAUSE NOTHING'S MORE INTERESTING THAN SOMEONE TELLING YOU ABOUT SOME DUMB DREAM THEY HAD.*

Anyway, Paul, Frank, and I were at some sort of mixer/social event, dressed pretty nice and all. We were wandering around, talking to people. Then it turned out that CM Punk and Hiro were there, and that they were our friends. CM Punk kept hassling Hiro to take him time traveling (if I wrote fan fiction, this is probably what I would write), and we were all having a good laugh about it. Then Frank and I noticed that Jess was there with some other people, so we went over to talk to her, only she kept avoiding eye contact and walking to other parts of the party (the party was in some sort of courtyard, and there was an art gallery inside, whose presence I chalk up to my having read half of You Don't Love Me Yet yesterday). So Frank and I chased Jess around, when suddenly my friend Lindy appeared in front of me and wants to know how I've been, and I was trying to figure out how to get around her (because dream-me is an asshole) when my alarm went off.

So there you go. Sort of a calvacade of people who moved away, it seemed. But I think CM Punk and Hiro is a team-up the world needs in these dark times.

*(One of my favorite scenes in Scott Pilgrim is the one where Scott tries to tell Wallace and Other Scott about his Ramona dreams, only they don't want to hear about them so Scott just stammers "I... but... just... You're not the boss of me?")

In Japan, all things are superior

2007-04-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so everybody should read this. It's a post about a Japenese wrestling concern called 666 and the history of their "Heavymetalweight" Championship Belt, a belt that must be defended 24/7, meaning that anyone could pin the champion at any time and take the belt. And I do mean "anyone." Also, when I say "read" the post, I mean really read. Read the post, follow the link to the belt history, watch the videos, click on the comments and watch the videos linked there.

There is simply nothing about any of it that isn't completely excellent.

Okay, I'll throw you a bone

2007-04-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

Sad that I don't post as often anymore? How about going to The Comics Curmudgeon instead? Here's what he had to say about a recent "Marvin" strip:

"This strip is funny (by which I mean “horrifying”) because it’s about the sex lives of babies."

That really just made me lose my shit and laugh out loud in the office.

Television, television

2007-04-19T11:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Emory got a new widescreen HD TV. It is RAD. We just got our new HD satellite and so now we watch as many shows as possible in sweet HD. It looks good on all shows, but on some it's seriously a revelation. So now's a good a time as any to talk about how the TV shows are going.

Battlestar - We finally, finally got around to finishing off the third season. At this point it's almost cute how wildly the quality fluctuates during any run of Battlestar episodes. As usual, a dip in the middle followed by some radness at the end. Although it was probably a bad idea to give the finale to Mark "sledgehammer" Verheiden. I thought both the haunting music and trial stuff was used to much better effect in the first part of "Crossroads." Still, points to Apollo's big speech. Also, big points for Balthar, doing or saying anything, always.

Lost - Haven't watched last night's new episode, but did catch the Juliet-centril episode in HD. Guys, HD Lost is some serious shit. There's that moment in the flashback of this last episode where Juliet gets out of the sub and sees the island for the first time, and in widescreen HD that shit is seriously GORGEOUS. And striking, and mysterious, and foreboding. It adds so much to the atmosphere of the show, seriously. As for plotting, this season seems determined to trim the fat and actually give some answers, which is the best possible response to the backlash the show's been experiencing. I've been digging this season much more than the last, which the emphasis on The Others (Ben and Juliet are great characters) and the downplaying of the less interesting members of the main cast (has there even been a Charlie flashback episode yet this season?). So good on you, Lost. Don't blow it.

Drive - From Tim "Firefly" Minear come this bit of B-movie fluff. Nothing crazy-amazing about this one yet (three episodes in), but nothing wrong with it either, and there's lots of potential for awesome down the line. The greenscreen driving stuff works better than you think it would, too, even in HD.

24 - Still chugging along. The "Jack's gone rogue!" plot has been done before, but it's still early yet. There could be further twists up the writing team's sleeve. Again, HD makes all the difference on this show, as the night lighting goes from murky to moody.

The Sopranos - Two solid episodes thus far. For those who come over to watch it at Llama School, get ready for HD!

Wrestling - The CM Punk plot on ECW remains the highlight of the entire WWE.

The Office - Still my favorite sitcom.

30 Rock - I have yet to flip my shit about this show (like several others seem to have done), but it's consistently amusing, with at least one or two big laughs per episode. Tracy's Thomas Jefferson movie preview is a highlight.

Stuff!

2007-04-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

Lots of stuff happening!

Saw Grindhouse last weekend, and seem to be in the slight minority in preferring Death Proof to Planet Terror. But both of them were a good time and we saw the show at Mann's Chinese and Tarantino and various cast members were there, so that ruled.

iPod: purchased! I am totally rocking the nano today at work. I named my iPod Croatoan, which is a reference to history, but mostly to Seven Soldiers.

Did I mention how we totally OWNED quiz night on Saturday? Seriously, first place. Go us! I was able to contribute by figuring out that it was Kato, not the Green Hornet, in one of the picture questions.

In case you didn't know this, Laurel makes great calzones.

We constructed a swell frame to put behind our Atrox table at APE. It's made of PVC pipe! We only had to go to Home Depot twice!

High-Quality Erotic Art is still going strong.

At last the final piece falls into place

2007-04-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

So thanks to Emory getting a new 2Wire box and the efforts of my lovely girlfriend, my internet works again. You cannot imagine how awesome this is. Next step: get a new monitor (mine has not been the same since the move). And an iPod. But oh man, guys. Oh man.

Woo hoo!

2007-04-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Television Without Pity now covers The Wire. Enjoy the recaps of the greatest show ever.

E-C-Dub

2007-04-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

On ECW last night they went ahead and did the 8-man tag match under extreme rules like they should have done at Wrestlemania. It was immeasurably better, and was one of the only matches I've seen on new ECW that actually captured the fun of the original ECW. It was completely great and really, really should have been the Wrestlemania match. The crowd would have freaked out. God, the WWE can be thick.

Okay, enough wrestling. Go on about your lives.

New video!

2007-04-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Quick! Go to The Atrox and check out our new video "One Night Stand"! (The title might change soon, but that's what's up for now.) It features our very own Frank Smith and the soon-to-be-famous Brook Lyons, whose help we greatly appreciate.

Wrasslin'

2007-04-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

So Wrestlemania was last weekend, and a bunch of the kids came over to watch it. Leslie pulled out all the stops and made delicious Wrestlemania-themed cupcakes, and a delightful time was had. As predicted, the Money in the Bank ladder match stole the show, as Jeff Hardy basically sacrifices himself to take out Edge, diving off a 15-foot ladder to smash Edge body through another ladder. It was BALLS OUT. Then Matt Hardy convinced King Booker to get off a ladder by threatening Queen Sharmell. "I will give her the Twist of Fate! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!" So the King climbed down and got the Twist instead. Kennedy eventually won, but not before doing a Samoan drop on a midget from the top of a ladder. That guy is EVIL.

Batista/Undertaker was impressive from both guys, and Taker unsurprisingly came out victorious. So yeah, Kennedy/Undertaker on the horizon for Smackdown. I was surprised that Benoit and Melinda retained their respective belts, and that ECW Originals got the win against the New Breed. Umaga/Lashley had enough ridiculous bullshit (including Trump attacking McMahon at ringside) to be entertaining. Cena/Michaels started out a bit slow, but at some point it just got CRAZY INSANE, with the two reversing each other's every move. It was a good finish.

I was wondering how they were going to get the tag belts off the invincible Cena and Michaels, and last night's Raw had the answer: a two-stage, twenty-team battle royale. And even then Cena and Michaels were only eliminated when Michaels turned on Cena, claiming that the tag belts were clouding his judgement. Then they put the belts on the Hardys, of all people. Not that I'm complaining. It was actually the coolest thing I've seen on Raw in quite a while. And tonight we're promised the Extreme Rules Originals vs. New Breed eight-man tag match that we should have had at Wrestlemania. Oh, wrestling. You're a good time.

Convenience

2007-04-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

A new Doughboys restaurant has opened right around the corner from Llama School, and come May 1st, Laurel will be living with Frank.

The only way my life could get more convenient is if our fridge made its own Coke Zero.

For Leslie

2007-03-30T14:34:00.000-07:00

Llama School has been watching an unhealthy amount of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, so here's something for Leslie:

This is the end of an episode where the friends dress as toiletry items to save Bloo from having to portray a stick of deodorant on a live variety show. Foster's is awesome.

HOUSE!

2007-03-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

Hey, last night's House featured MARC BLUCAS, who devotees will know is the star of Emory's and my reality series Code: Bluc!. It is always nice to see him.

Also, House writers. Please stop portraying Jennifer Morrison as a pouty sex kitten, because it is totally distracting.

Old people

2007-03-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my sister will be 34. In six months I'll be 28.

WHERE DID OUR LIVES GO?

(and why did Blogger refuse to put up the text of this post earlier today?)

An observation

2007-03-28T13:01:00.000-07:00

It is alarming how similar the wrestling industry is to the comics industry.

Those Tomlin/Russell videos

2007-03-21T15:54:00.000-07:00

See, I knew that production doc was too cheery.

More new comics

2007-03-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, High-Quality Erotic Art continues over at The Atrox, and since my personal blog is non-kayfabe, I can assure that despite the racy title, HQEA is as safe for work as anything else on the site (by which I of course mean no actual penetration is shown).

Your weekend in movies

2007-03-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Sure, 300 will have two hours of dudes yelling and stabbing each other (since that's all the comic is, really, along with Miller's unique brand of macho posturing), but if you have the chance, the movie you should really check out this weekend is The Host. That movie's awesome. It's about a family of losers who reunite in order to save their only child from a horrible monster. Emory snagged an import of it from Drunken Master awhile ago, so I've already seen it, and I guarantee that it's a delight.

Various goings-on

2007-03-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

There's a new High-Quality Erotic Art up at The Lair. Yes, different than yesterday's.

Uh, I guess things have been happening? And I've been around for them? Last weekend we shot the footage for another new Atrox short, and I think it will come out quite nicely. Thanks to everyone who came over and helped out by drinking and socializing. I've been much less involved with the last two shorts, but that's just fine by me. I had plenty of input on our first batch.

We also saw Zodiac last weekend and I quite enjoyed it.

Work's been busier than usual. Lots of new contracts piling up.

Still haven't watched the mystery finale of Veronica Mars. Or this week's supposedly awesome House. But Heroes has been kicking ass, and 24 continues to be a good time. When will Jack learn to stay out of consulates and embassies and the like? He's just going to wind up in a foreign prison again.

I guess that's about it. See why I don't update much anymore?

High-Quality Erotic Art

2007-03-08T09:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's the title of my new comic debuting over at The Atrox. The first few strips will feature Badly-Drawn Atrox, but he'll soon be replaced by other characters and situations. Long-time devotees should probably expect some Rama.

I'll probably start using a font to letter the strip in the not-too-distant future, since my handwriting's atrocious and unlike Leslie I don't think the kids in Portland won't respect me unless I hand-letter.

This strip, by its very existence, declares war on the concept of "art." Enjoy.

James McAvoy

2007-03-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

James McAvoy, you are ON NOTICE. After being a black hole of suck as Mr. Tumnus in Narnia, I decided to give you a second chance by seeing Starter for 10 with Frank the other night. Perhaps you would be better in a coming-of-age-at-University movie, rather than prancing around a forest with no shirt? But then the movie turned out to be bad, and you, while certainly better than in Narnia, were still annoying. The fact that you are apparently in every movie coming out over the next six months not only worries me, but irritates me. I can just hear Liz saying "But you need to see Last King of Scotland!" And while I still have yet to see that movie, are you so good in it as to make up for two, count 'em, TWO strikes? I doubt it. Watch your back, McAvoy.

So yeah, Starter for 10 is a bit crap. Frank and I were lured in by the coming-of-age-at-University promise, but the whole thing is incredibly by-the-numbers. I did like that so much of the plot revolved around "University Challenge," since that made me think of the "Bambi" episode of The Young Ones, but the movie's weak. Go read Tom Perrotta's Joe College instead, and hope they make a faithful adapatation of that. The last two Perrotta adaptations came out okay, right?

One thing seeing the movie did for me was to solve the mystery of those "Brian Jackson Knows EVERYTHING!" banners hanging around various parts of town (there's one up at DeLongpre and Highland). So if you see one of those, it's from this movie, and the movie is bad.

We got fun and games

2007-02-28T15:22:00.000-08:00

The ads for Top Model on MySpace have the tagline, "Welcome to the jungle, ladies." Surely I am not the only one who immediately immagines Axl wailing, "You're gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!" Right? Also, Top Model would be a thousand times better if they had to fight. Just sayin'.

A minor problem

2007-02-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

You know, the version of iTunes I have on my computer now might not support one of these new-fangled iPods. I'd probably need to fix my internet first. Stupid broken internet.

What's going on in web comics?

2007-02-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

It's only a few strips in, but this Achewood story where Ray realizes he's switched from an ass man to a breast man is well worth your time. Of course Achewood is worth all of your time, all the time.

Dinosaur Comics continues to be awesome. (The one before this one is worth a look, too.)

While autobio comics are generally dire, I super-recommend The Fart Party. Just in general. It's rad.

The fourth panel to this Overcompensating is something I regularly ask myself.

Still sick

2007-02-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

So through the weekend I was feeling so much better, but the moment I went back to work my health went back in the toilet. I've just spent the last two nights curled up watching television. Last night I fell asleep at 9:30. Normally colds work their way through my system a lot faster than this. Stupid illness.

Hey, there's a new Atrox comic today.

iPod or bike?

2007-02-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

It is the dilemma facing me today.

I got my bonus last week, and after paying off various debts and putting some into savings, I should have enough left for either a bike or an iPod (most likely a 4GB Nano).

You know, I was going to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of each, but I think I will go for the iPod. Well, that was easy. This is probably why I don't update my blog as often as I used to.

Some things that happened during the weekend

2007-02-20T12:02:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was the big masquerade party. Most everyone looked great and had cool masks. That's really about all I have to say about it.

During the day on Sunday Frank, Emory, Leslie and I went to Swingers for the most star-studded lunch ever, and then Frank had to go to some audition so the rest of us caught Ghost Rider at the Arclight. You know, it wasn't too bad. It didn't take itself very seriously and it seemed to acknowledge that a biker with a flaming skull for a head is equal parts awesome and retarded. And Nic Cage goofed it up for maximum enjoyability. Really, as far as comic book adaptations go, you could do worse.

Sunday night was Lisa's birthday, celebrated with Mexican food and bowling, two things I can really get behind. I bowled like crap during our first game and got all pissed about it, much to Laurel's amusement, but I did much better the second game, getting a turkey and generally just bowling better. Then they shut down the alley so I didn't get to finish my game. Whatever, bowling alley! But it was a good time and happy birthday to Lisa (since today is her real birthday). Now I really want to go bowling again.

Yesterday Frank and I stopped by Danny and Katherine's (my second visit there this weekend, since Laurel, Corinne, and I stopped by before Lisa's party). We watched King of Kong, which was an amazing Slamdance documentary about a guy trying to beat the world record for highest score on Donkey Kong. Should it ever come out theatrically or on DVD, I wholeheartedly recommend it. Then Frank went to work and Kim showed up and we played Double Dash and Super Mario Strikers. We also played with Danny and Katherine's adorable new pug puppy Waffles, who is a Cute Factory. Also she thinks my face is the world's most delicious thing.

Later on back at Llama School Laurel came over and we watched 24 (still awesome!) and finally caught Episode III, which lived up to the hype of being the best of the prequels while still being very bad. At least with that movie you could say "This idea was okay, but the excecution was bad," instead of "This idea was stupid from the get-go," like with the other two movies.

Adventures in cable TV

2007-02-17T18:27:00.000-08:00

I just sat at home last night, mustering strength for the activities beginning tonight, and cable TV saw fit to reward me by showing me some of my favorites scenes of various movies.

First, Logan's Run was on TCM, and there was only a five-minute wait until BOX. If you don't know about Box, I pity you. But rest assured it is Box's job... TO FREEZE YOU! Also, CAN YOU BELIEVE YOUTUBE DOES NOT HAVE THE BOX SCENE??? I can't. The closest I could find was this. Funny, but doesn't really give you the whole breadth of excellence that is Box. Get on it, YouTube. I am ready... and you're ready.

Second, Scream was on HBO (it's now been over 10 YEARS since that movie was realesed!), and I only had to wait a scant few minutes before one of favorite lines in anything: "BAM! Bitch went down! 'I'll send you a copy.' BAM! Sid: SUPERBITCH!" One might say that is PERFECT DIALOGUE. I might be the one to say that.

And then I got up today and thought "Man, maybe I should do something," but then Primal Fear was on USA, and it wasn't just going to watch itself.

The facts

2007-02-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

FACT: Nextwave #12 is PUREST BLISS.

FACT: Ghost Rider comes out today. Will I see it? Emory's become quite taken with it (despite Daredevil's crushing awfulness), so the answer is "quite possibly."

FACT: I am sick but getting better. I am trying to preserve my strength so that I am somewhat attentive for the masquerade party tomorrow, so perhaps tonight will not contain crazy antics. Perhaps tonight will only consists of Smackdown viewing. We'll see.

FACT: I have taken President's Day as my floating holiday. Three-day weekend! I hope I am not sick for much of it.

FACT: I am almost finished with The Fortress of Solitude. I like Jonathan Lethem's work.

FACT: Last night's Office was great, and directed by Joss Whedon. Although it is kind of ridiculous that Whedon directed the episode that mentions vampires.

FACT: Seriously, Nextwave had me on the floor.

From the "too stupid to be made up" files

2007-02-14T12:40:00.000-08:00

It is important that you read this.

There really aren't words. Yes, it's really a comic you can go and buy.

BOOM!

2007-02-13T16:32:00.000-08:00

As all good little children know, the comic book Nextwave is completely awesome. How awesome, you might ask? Here is the promo copy for the last issue, coming out tomorrow:

"The Story: To all those who HAVEN’T been buying NEXTWAVE–
Thanks a lot, jerks! This is the last issue! To all those who HAVE been buying NEXTWAVE– YOU RULE!! Do not miss this pulse-pounding conclusion to the greatest work of western literature EVER! Hamlet? Horrible. War and Peace? What-a-joke! The Great Gatsby? The Great Lame-by, maybe. Those works are going to be moved to the Bad Section of your local bookstores after this issue comes out. Don't miss this or you won’t know what your children’s children are reading in school.
32 PGS./Parental Advisory …$2.99"

I love that. It's just so juvenile and excellent.

Dear Fox promos team...

2007-02-13T11:54:00.000-08:00

(24 spoilers to follow)

You've done a fine job so far telling us how much 24 ROCKS ASS this season. And it has indeed rocked ass. HOWEVER, please do me a favor and quit ruining stuff in the next episode promos. From just watching a 30-second clip, we now alread know that Milo and weird-sexy Rena Sofer get away from their pursuers thanks to some timely Jack interference, and that Sofer spills the beans about Jack's dad's involvement. I'm sure this is just a launching pad for new adventures, but dammit, we didn't need to know that yet! Let us hang on the edge of our seats just a little bit more! I mean, the show's doing great. Just don't blow it for us.

Attention 13-year-old boys!

2007-02-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

I have found your perfect movie!

It is called DOA: Dead or Alive and it is based on the popular video game franchise. You young people like video games, right? It was directed by the guy who made The Transporter, and who doesn't like The Transporter? Old people, that's who. Anyway, DOA features hot women in bikins and kung fu fighting. Sometimes it features these things simultaneously. Plotwise, it's very reminiscent of Mortal Kombat, only with less killing and more nanotech. And again, boobs. I know how you youngsters like to masturbate. It stars weird-faced Devon Aoki and alarmingly-muscled Jamie Pressley (basically just playing a nicer version of her My Name is Earl character). There are also several other hot women. They all go to an island and beat the shit out of each other, and sometimes play beach volleyball. The end. Also, Eric Roberts is the villain. Ask your parents who he is.

Oh, and the movie never actually got released in the US for some reason, so hopefully you all have a region-free DVD player! Happy viewing!

Beloved children's classics

2007-02-12T16:13:00.000-08:00

So I guess they're bringing back Nancy Drew.

That's all well and good, but what about the Hardy Boys? I for one would love to see a big-screen Hardy Boys movie, only it should star the WWE's Matt and Jeff Hardy, and when they discover the smugglers or whoever, instead of calling the authorities the Hardys deliver a beatdown culminating in a Twist of Fate and a swanton. I think that would be great.

Either that or an adaptaion of that one modern book where Joe's (or was it Frank's?) girlfriend is blown up by terrorists. Either way.

The playlist of my brain

2007-02-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

What's been stuck in my head the last week?

-The song David Bowie sings about Ricky Gervais on Extras ("See his pug-nosed face!")
-The two half-remembered Lily Allen songs from when I saw her on SNL a week ago.
-The music from the latest iPod commercial (apparently it is The Fratellis)
-"No One Is Alone" from Into the Woods
-A rotation of the five or so songs I really like from the new Shins album

Given half a minute with nothing particular to think about, my mind will invariably start playing one of those tunes. It's an eclectic mix.

Needs purchasing

2007-02-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

Leslie, we should get these! They are available as magnets!

"I'm not the one who paid five million dollars for a blowjob!"
"I... it was a half-and-half. First of all."

So now I'm not enthused

2007-02-08T11:58:00.000-08:00

I had a few things I wanted to put up over the past few days, but since Blogger wouldn't let me log in I've either forgotten them or lost all interest.

I was going to say some stuff about how Heroes and 24 are both kicking ass, and maybe some more stuff about wrestling and how ECW seems to slowly be getting its shit together.

Oh wait, I can't pass up laying this quote on you.

"Everybody in the goddamn world knows who I am! Except maybe me sometimes."
-Ric Flair

Okay, so I took that out of context to make him seem senile, although when he said it it did seem like the promo was getting away from him.

I saw a headline on MSN the other day that said something like "Manning rains supreme" and gave no indication that it was supposed to be a pun, so I'm going to go ahead and assume the worst about MSN's editors.

I did watch the Superbowl, over at Matt's house. The first half was crazy-go-nuts, and after that it just seemed sort of obvious that the Broncos were the better team (by which I of course mean the Colts. Thank you, Laurel. I've been making that goof since the playoffs). Commercials were pretty low-key too, although props to the one with Robert Goulet skittering about like a horrible demon.

Anything else? I don't think so. Ta for now.

Long dormant

2007-02-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

Folks, I have been trying to update this blog for the last three days, and Blogger just now saw fit to let me log in.

I haven't abandoned you. Blogger can just eat a dick.

Here's an ace Dinosaur Comics to show there's no hard feelings.

Royal Rumble!

2007-01-29T14:34:00.000-08:00

Ah, good times. This was our first Royal Rumble match at Llama School, and we invited some folks over to mark the occasion. Most of those kids aren't into wrestling, but everyone seemed to have a good time, regardless. After all, everyone loves dudes hitting each other. Here are some of my thoughts on the matches.

Hardys vs. MNM - Solid enough, although surely there'll be a ladder match sequel in the pipe for Wrestlemania, right? Although since MNM has lost every match involved in the fued, a match like that doesn't seem very climactic. Still, I like watching all of these guys do their thing.

Lashley vs. Test - God. So earlier this week on free TV, Lashley beat Test clean. And then there was this abomination, in which Lashley dominated unti Test decided to just walk off. Because everyone loves a count-out ending. Boo. So now that all of Test's credibility has been burned to the ground, how many top heels are left on ECW? None? That's what I thought.

Batista vs. Kennedy - Kennedy's really grown on me the last few weeks, so I was surprised to hear the crowd actually chant for him. Not to mention that he had Batista pinned but the ref was knocked out. I mean, he's still meant to be a heel, right? Weird bit of booking, unless it's to build Batista turning heel before fighting Undertaker at Wrestlemania? I don't know. The weird role-reversal was really the most interesting part of the match.

Cena vs. Umaga - If you had told me three days ago that I would enjoy this match the most out of the three title shots, I possibly would have slapped you. Still, this was pretty awesome. Cena bleeding like a stuck pig, Umaga smashing through the ECW table (only to get up again!), and finally Cena strangling Umaga with the top rope, leading to an overly melodramatic "Cena wins... BUT AT WHAT COST?" ending that I found hilarious and excellent. Among the viewers at Llama School, this one brought the house down. Emory even expressed a desire to watch RAW tonight. Truly, a Christmas miracle.

Royal Rumble - Actually ended like I expected it to, with Undertaker triumphant, so Emory was a happy man. (That's right, Alan! Undertaker is not only still around, he won the Royal Rumble!) Good times to be had before then, with some of my favorite guys lasting awhile, only to be cleared out by Khali. Plus Edge made it to the final four!

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:

"Oh, I see. This is all just happening in Ric Flair's head." - Frank, when Kelly Kelly and the other ECW ladies inexplicably began freak dancing backstage with Flair under disco lights that came out of nowhere.

If you're reading this and came out, thanks for coming. Hope you had a good time. I certainly did. Hopefully we'll see you again for Wrestlemania!

For Lindsay

2007-01-26T12:15:00.000-08:00

A single page of Scott Pilgrim Volume 4.

http://destroyerzooey.livejournal.com/128432.html

Quick hits

2007-01-26T11:38:00.000-08:00

It's possible that, in purely creative terms, Epic Movie is the nadir of modern cinema. To put it another way, I turn it over to Emory Herbertson: "I think I would rather have to commit a murder than see Epic Movie." You heard it here first, folks.

Just because I can't stand Dreamgirls doesn't mean I hate musicals. Just like how if I don't like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days it doesn't mean I hate all romantic comedies. It's just that 95 percent of both of those genres are crappy. Sorry.

I got a new desk. Well, it's not new. In fact, Paul has had sex on it. But still, desk. My room is at last complete. Now maybe I'll work on getting my computer up to snuff, like having working internet again. Wouldn't that be something?

Comics people, Casanova is the best new title of 2006. The 7th issue is out in February and the first trade comes soon after that. Buy it.

On another note, Nextwave #11 might just be the perfect comic book. There are six, count 'em, SIX two-page fight spreads, and they are all excellent. Much has been made online about the MODOK Elvises, but I was partial to the Cyclops Brontasauruses, myself.

24 is great. It's so nice to say those words and mean it.

This is my first post on the new Blogger. You can tell, can't you?

The Oscars

2007-01-23T09:05:00.000-08:00

Woo hoo! Suck it, Dreamgirls! Do you know why you are not up for Best Picture? It is because you are bad.

Shame about United 93, though. But at least Greengrass got the directing nod. Although I did think the directing in Little Miss Sunshine was much stronger than the screenplay. The same goes for Children of Men. If only there were a copule more directing slots!

I'm glad Little Children got some nominations. I figured that movie would just completely drop off the radar. I'm also psyched that Mark Wahlberg got a supporting nom over Jack Nicholson. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Mark Wahlberg? I seriously think he is awesome.

I know it's a long shot, but seriously, if Clint Eastwood beats Martin Scorcese for the Oscar again I will set someone on fire. Probably Mike. (Nothing personal.)

Service interrupted

2007-01-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

I know I've been posting sporadically lately. Don't expect that to change anytime soon.

The weekend was good. Watched the playoffs as I said already, and Laurel cooked for me (and several others) twice, so that was delicious. Also played a bunch of Wii at Laurel's, including the utterly insane and totally delightful Wario Ware. That game is as nuts as it is awesome. Not much else to report. It was a low-key couple of days.

So we watched the playoffs

2007-01-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

Saints/Bears proved boring when it turned from a game into a thorough trouncing. But that was all forgiven when Colts/Patriots turned out to be a barnburner. Nice comeback, Colts. That was rad.

Belated weekend extravaganza

2007-01-17T14:20:00.000-08:00

Blogger's being kind of a dick today, so hopefully this will all work out.

This past Friday a few folks came over for a game night at Llama School. A game night, it turned out, that consisted of only one heated game of Apples to Apples. But everyone should remember that Emory bought Mall Madness! Game Night part deux, perhaps. After Apples to Apples (which lasted awhile, since we were above A2A capacity), we broke out the Guitar Hero, because it's what all the kids crave. Emory and I made sure to demonstrate how freaking insanely difficult "Cowboys from Hell" is. That song is my Waterloo. Leslie's old KC friend Sarah was in town, and folks were in high spirits, so it was a good time.

During both days over the weekend Emory watched all the NFL playoffs, and I joined him when I was around. I'm so sick of the damn Patriots.

Saturday night was Amanda's annual Wine and Cheese Party, held in her soon-to-be-moved-out-of apartment. It was the usual good time, and I got a chance to wear my new fancy shirt, which received many compliments. I bought it myself! I'm an adult! Later that night Laurel and I decided to date like normal people, because we are strict conformists.

Sunday was four square day, and Laurel was a good sport and came out, which was a good thing since everyone else didn't and it was just me, Laurel, Ben and two kids I didn't know (I guess they were there the last time). It was fun though, even when I sucked ass the second game.

That's basically it.

The facts

2007-01-15T09:32:00.000-08:00

The Ghost Rider movie will be awful.

HOWEVER

Ghost Rider driving his flaming hell motorcycle up the side of a building is awesome under any circumstances.

Quote of the night

2007-01-12T21:46:00.000-08:00

"FACT: Beets will not feel you up unless you want them to."

-Emory

I like movies!

2007-01-09T12:22:00.000-08:00

Here are 10 movies I liked in 2006!

Brick - I've gone on about this one elsewhere on the blog. It's still so very, very awesome.

Pan's Labyrinth - Del Toro reworks The Devil's Backbone to much more impressive effect.

Children of Men - How did they do that shit?

Casino Royale - Best Bond movie ever.

Little Children - Fine adaptation of great source material.

The Departed - Ditto.

United 93 - Best movie I don't really want to see again anytime soon, thanks.

Monster House - Remember when The Goonies had that "this feels like real kids interacting" vibe? This movie has that. I like that.

Happy Feet - Not wholly successful, but I do have to admire a movie that says "You know what? Screw our stock 'outside finding acceptance' plot, LET'S CHANGE THE WORLD!" Also, points for using real people instead of creepy, unconvincing animated humans.

Borat - Funniest movie of 2006, hands down.

ALMOST ON THE LIST
A Prairie Home Companion - Altman's last movie is a film about death. Weird.

MOVIE NOBODY SAW THAT I FELT GOOD ABOUT LIKING
Idiocracy

MOVIE NOBODY SAW THAT I FELT BAD ABOUT LIKING
The Marine

WORST MOVIE I SAW THIS YEAR
A week ago I would have said Dreamgirls, but Emory, Leslie, and I just caught Lady in the Water. If you want to see something with a script that feels like a first-year film student's first draft based on an idea he had when he was ten, this is the film for you!

Bound to happen sooner or later

2007-01-04T13:25:00.000-08:00

Corey Haim's beloved classic Me, Myself, and I (or at least part of it, I don't have time to really give the viewing it deserves) is up on YouTube. I'd embed it, but it might give my blog cancer.

Clash of the titans

2007-01-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

How big is 2007 going to be, movie-wise? I mean, look at this release list.

If you've seen me out and about, I've probably been up in your face about how 2007 will be the "Summer of Three-quels," what with Spide-Man, Shrek, Pirates, and Ocean's 13. But get this: there are two more three-quels I didn't even know about! The Bourne Ultimatum (Yaaaaaaay!) and Rush Hour 3 (Boooooooooooo!) And as for more sequels, there's a fourth entry (Die Hard) and a fifth entry (Harry Potter). Oh, and Transformers (I won't lie to you, the trailer where you actually see the robots gets me hot). People, that is NUTS.

Why didn't anyone tell me that they're making a Dark Is Rising movie? I loved those books when I was a kid (they sit on my shelf to this day). It's written by John Hodge, who wrote one great movie (Trainspotting) and several terrible movies. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, that and The Golden Compass will have to slug it out for my Young Adult fantasy love.

It seems Helen Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen have been added to the cast of the Burton/Depp Sweeney Todd. To think, a movie musical I might actually LIKE!

A variety of musings

2007-01-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

I know updating has been sporadic lately. I'm trying to update more regularly, mostly to dispel the notion that I have nothing to talk about when all my shows are repeats.

Did I mention my close call in Denver? When I was flying home from KC I was due to go through Denver, which naturally meant that snow started falling there again. All the morning flights were cancelled, but my afternoon flight was still a go. But once we touched down in Denver I had a message from the airline saying they had rescheduled my flight to LA for the FOLLOWING MORNING. Suffice to say, I was not pleased. But once I actually got off the plane, they said that the connection was just at another gate and everything was fine. And it was! Sort of an anti-climax, I suppose, but at least I got to LA okay. Plus, when I got to LAX I had a message from Frank that he was going to Sam's that night, and Sam's is pretty close to the airport, so Frank was able to pick me up and we ate a delicious dinner at Sam's place.

New Year's at Frank's was a good time. Just about all my favorite people were there, and the alcohol flowed freely. One of the better New Year's parties I've experienced out here. And Nelson showed up!

Laurel's birthday was Tuesday, and we made our usual excursion to Big Wang's. Happy birthday to her, and I greatly look forward to the Pirate Adventure on Saturday. Since I was flush with Christmas cash, I could actually afford it! Hooray!

There's a new Atrox comic. Read it!

2007: Kick it in the face!

2007-01-02T16:14:00.000-08:00

Your new 2007 slogan comes courtesy of Ms. Lindsay Hollinger. I like its activist, can-do attitude!

Other stuff

2006-12-28T19:21:00.000-08:00

As usual, I've done very little while here at home. I have been making my way through the first season of The Wire with my sister, who lives in Baltimore so she recognizes all the locations. And as you can tell by the post below, I've been doing a lot of catching up, movie-wise.

I did manage to catch up with a few PHS kids while I was out here. I grabbed a drink with Daisy, Carrie, and Cinnamon down at the Plaza and we caught up. Amani turned out to be at the same bar, so yes, that's three people who either live in the LA area or visit out there often. Trips out to KC are becoming increasingly irrelevant. But I hadn't seen any of those ladies for a while, so it was still nice.

In a genius move, I stuffed my suitcase to the brim before coming out here, so I have no room for all the new presents and clothes I've got while I was here. I might have to wind up shipping some of it. We'll see when I pack tomorrow morning.

I can't wait to get back in LA. I'm due to fly through Denver tomorrow, so dear sweet Lord please don't let the snow be too bad. Fingers crossed.

Two-word catch-up movie reviews

2006-12-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

The Departed - Totally awesome.

The Queen - Mirren rules.

The Good Shepherd - Pretty dull.

Happy Feet - Mostly great.

Dreamgirls - Mostly awful.

Chiefs

2006-12-23T22:07:00.000-08:00

Ha! Suck it, Oakland! Suuuuuuuuck it!

Irrational crushes developed while in KC

2006-12-23T16:19:00.000-08:00

Sarah Chalke (I'm now averaging at least three episodes of Scrubs a day!)

Autumn Reeser (She was so charming on Carson Daly!)

Jodi from MTV's The Duel (I... have no excuse for this one.)

Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins (Just kidding. This one's from way back.)

The Bickersons

2006-12-22T15:06:00.000-08:00

Both parties might resent this, but it's awfully true: Emory and Leslie bicker just like my parents.

Chicks

2006-12-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

My dad watches quite a bit of poker, and I noticed that when it's all guys at the table, they list their hands by their last names. But when it was all women the other night, their hands were all listed by their first names. Because they're women, you see. Also, I doubt commentators often mention how good-looking players are when only dudes are playing. "Lamkin may be knocked out, but he's smart and pretty... we'll be seeing him again."

The ol' homestead

2006-12-20T18:30:00.000-08:00

Well, two days in and things are looking to be pretty dull.

I did have a nice steak the for lunch the first full day I got back. That was nice. And I did manage to see The Departed at long sweet last, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. And my sister gets in tonight, so that'll be nice. But I'm still looking down the barrel of a week and a half with almost nothing to do. And all the television is on repeats. Although that South Park where Santa is shot down over Baghdad is on right now. That's all right.

Maybe I should think about taking vacations and staying in LA for them.

I'm out, folks

2006-12-18T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm heading back home to KC later this afternoon. I'll still have internet access and everything, it's just that my life will be very dull while I'm there.

I'll leave you with an amusing story. I headed out to Target last night and on my way out Emory said "Hey, get one of those five-dollar movies while you're there. Whatever you get, I'll watch it." I pointed out that I wouldn't want to watch whatever shit Target would be selling for five dollars. Emory countered that I wouldn't have to watch the movie with him, but he would seriously sit down and watch whatever I bought. As Leslie said, "Jeff, I think this is probably worth five dollars." So I went to Target, and while briefly toying with the idea of purchasing My Baby's Daddy, I spotted a film that could best be described as Emory Kryptonite.

I bought him Jersey Girl.

Man, the look on his face...

Ill communication

2006-12-15T10:40:00.000-08:00

So due to a hilarious misunderstanding, it turns out that Kim and I broke up three weeks ago and I didn't even know it. Welcome to the topsy-turvy world of my romantic life!

And since I keep forgetting to post about it specifically, I'll take this moment to remind everyone that there's a new Atrox strip.

Simon interview

2006-12-13T09:55:00.000-08:00

You thought just because The Wire's fourth season had ended I was going to stop talking about it? Fool!

Here's a good interview with Wire creator David Simon where he talks about all sorts of things about the show, including season 5.

So what's been going on?

2006-12-13T08:51:00.000-08:00

Quick summary of the past few days' events, primarily for my own benefit.

Friday night was McKenna's birthday party at the White Horse. Pretty much the entire bar was there for the fiesta. Matt got ragingly drunk. Laurel and I drank Frank's beer behind his back. I think someday we might be friends again.

Saturday I went to Mike's for some Rifftrax action. Turns out that The Island of Dr. Moreau is so bad that even clever quips can't distract from its soul-crushing awfulness. But it was nice to hang out with everyone. Afterwards Frank and I went to a screening of a USC movie that Laurel starred in. It was showing with three other movies, and Laurel's was the best. It is always a relief when your friends are in stuff that is good.

We were chatting with Heath at the reception afterwards when the sky opened up and it started pouring, thus putting a damper on our plans to head out to Dave and Buster's for Mike's birthday. Word on the street is that they didn't have any air hockey, so it's probably good that I didn't go, because if I had driven (or ridden, rather) out to Orange County and found out there was no air hockey, I would have burned that place to the ground. Or at least complained about it all night. I think everybody dodged a bullet there.

Frank and I got some dinner with Laurel and Heath, then headed to Martha and John's place because it was apparently Martha's birthday (I think?), and that was a good time. I like those kids.

Sunday Paul called and asked me if I was coming to play four-square. I told him I had forgotten all about it and Paul was like "Well you should come down!", apparently not remembering that I don't own a car. Suffice to say, I did not make it to four-square. Does four-square have a hyphen? Ben would know.

Last night was margarita night at Big Wang's. I finally told Mike that he's in a good enough place now where I can admit that I don't like him and that we are Friend Divorced. Glad to get that off my chest! On another note, when Lindsay and I have both had bad days we should probably not be allowed in the same room together. It will only end in stupid arguements. It was kind of a pokey night but then the Hollywood Female team showed up and Laurel got to yell about her hatred of movies where animals don't talk but are treated like people. Good times.

The healing process

2006-12-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

So my big leg wound has moved from painful to crazy itchy (and still a bit painful). It is AWESOME.

The TV halftime report

2006-12-12T11:19:00.000-08:00

So most shows are about halfway finished (or completely finished), so let's check in with them, shall we?

The Wire - Well, time to wait another year and a half or however long it'll take to come back. The season ended about as bleakly as you'd figure a Wire season starring four middle-schoolers would. Actually, a few things were sort of looking up at the end of this season, at least as far as the police department goes. Maybe Simon's going soft. Or maybe he's just waiting to fuck it all up again in season five. History suggests the latter. And by the way, this show is awesome.

Veronica Mars - The conclusion to this season's first big mystery was quite satisfying, and also featured Veronica stabbing a dude in the leg, so bonus points for that. Further bonus points for breaking up Logan and Veronica and letting Logan do crazy and awesome things again. Get those kids together when the series ends, sure, but they are boring as hell on a weekly basis.

BSG - I haven't even seen the last two episodes yet, but this season's solid, if a little derivative of season 1.

Lost - Since this show has rekindled my interest, naturally the general critical concensus seems to be that this season is lacking. I can't win.

Heroes - The dialogue's improved, and the plotting remains awesome. Seriously, big kudos to the plotting of this show. This last episode was probably the best one so far, but then I am a sucker for people being telekinetically pulled through plate glass. I am also a sucker for Hiro vs. Dinosaur, coming soon (hopefully). There just wasn't a damn thing in that last ep that wasn't awesome. Even Peter was interesting! And Mohinder was barely in it and didn't have a stupid voiceover! Good on you, Heroes.

Beat down

2006-12-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

Naturally, since this is my last week here in CA before heading to KC for the holidays, this week has decided to kick my ass. Pretty much the only significant errors I've made professionally this year all revealed themselves this very week, not long before my employee evaluation! Awesome! Thanks, job!

Hopefully this weekend will be as fun a time as I'm hoping it will be.

Limpy McGee

2006-12-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

I was over at the Psychic Bunny offices on Wednesday night to see the premiere of the music video Doug directed that Frank, Danny, Laurel, and Jared starred in. The video was great and we hung out for awhile, drinking and watching whatever was on the shelf by the projector. At the end of the evening, I attempted to assist Doug in turning off the projector mounted on the ceiling, and everything went horribly wrong. I was up on the couch, reaching for the button, but then I pitched forward and scaped the length of my shin on the corner of a chair and also managed to headbutt Liz right in the face. I think we should all feel fortunate that I didn't rip the projector out of its moorings and then shred the screen on my way down to the floor.

Anyway, Liz was okay, but my leg was completely effed up. The pain has greatly ebbed, but I'm still kind of just limping around everywhere. In fact, I missed the bus yesterday because I couldn't make a dash for the stop when I noticed the bus arriving a couple of minutes early. It wasn't bleeding badly or anything when I checked it out right after I did it, but when I got home that night apparently some blood had pooled and dried in the shallow cut so it's all black and terrifying-looking. But it's mostly the bruising that hurts. So if you see me hobbling around like Long John Silver (although in all fairness, it doesn't hurt nearly as bad anymore for this to be likely), that's the reason why.

The Celery Stalks at Midnight

2006-12-08T09:27:00.000-08:00

I know the posting has been light this week. Just haven't summoned the energy for it, I guess.

But anyway, Bunnicula. My mom emailed me earlier this week to tell me that she had been reading it to her class, and had just gotten to the part where Chester and Harold try to pound a steak through Bunnicula's heart. Mom remembered that I loved that sequence as a kid. The best part is that it remains funny TO THIS DAY. Bunnicula, asleep and all wrapped up in a huge cut of meat, Chester furiously and futiley pounding on the steak with his little kitty paws, tyring to drive it into the bunny's chest... and then the owners walk in! That's comedy gold, folks. Bunnicula is the shit.

And then Paul brought up Howliday Inn yesterday on Begum apropos of nothing. I guess it's a Bunnicula sort of week.